The Whaah was a language created in September of 2000. Known to many as the “Mr. Johnson” the whaah pertains certain characteristics that make it unlike any language. First off, the dialect is spoken through the octaves rather than tongue. It may sound similar to a chain smokers voice due to the raspy quality of the sound emitted through speaking the whaah, but it is instead the crucial component in fluently speaking the whaah. Few people have actually mastered the accent of the whaah for it is still unexplained what actually causes the very specific sound that gives the whaah meaning. Since the whaah is considered a primitive language by modern standards, the vocabulary list is almost non-existent due to the overall method of speaking the whaah. Rather than grammar rules and endless vocabulary the whaah focuses on vocal complexity, the different octaves represent different meanings in the whaah.
Usually the highest octave eludes to excitement or mischievous actions. The higher octaves are the reasoning for the coined title of “Mr. Johnson.” In spring of 2003 9th grade co-founder of the whaah who will remain unnamed due to security reasons emitted a bone rattling high octave in an empty hallway while classes were in session. Being naive after getting little to no response he did it again but this time much to his surprise was confronted by a teacher on the floor. In fear of getting in trouble he rushed down the stairs thinking the teacher wouldn’t follow; he was dead wrong, the teacher bolted down the stairs screaming “GET BACK HERE!” He managed to escape and the situation was left unresolved. The “Mr. Johnson” is also correlated to a pitch used in baseball. When firing what would be a fastball the pitcher emits a large high octave whaah in an attempt to stifle his opponent in either laughter or confusion. Known to many as the most devastating pitch in the game, the “Mr. Johnson” has an astronomically high strikeout rate.
The lower level octaves usually relate to concern, anger, or the need to argue. A classic example of this is during an argument when two individuals speaking whaah cannot come to a resolution they stare at each other, spread their arms and mutter in a very low vocal tone “doooooohhhhh” and circle each other waiting for one of them to make a move. If you are ever confronted by a whaah challenge it is customary not too look into the eyes of the challenger unless you’re ready for a death match.

There are few vocabulary words in the whaah:

“borchikof” literally means russian soldier
“whaah whaah whaah” usually used at the end of a ritual song, literally means potatoes
“tosobo” generally used in a form of greeting, literally means buddy or pal
“whaah” scholars have yet to understand it’s meaning


It is believed that there are only three people in the world with the full capacity to fluently speak the whaah. It is a slowly growing language making strides to become better known. What makes the whaah such a slowly growing language is the difficulty in learning the dialect. It is said that the three individuals in the whaah don’t speak it often and try to forget it ever existed. Hopefully there will be some salvation for the whaah, for it has provided entertainment and comedy for hundreds of people.